Self Esteem Song (Self Esteem / The Offspring)

I have found this song called 'Self Esteem' by 'The Offspring' and if you look at the video below and have a listen to the lyrics, it actually has quite a good message despite its portrayal in this witty yet slightly catchy song.



Enjoy!

Blushing: Top 5 Tips

Today I want to talk about blushing. It's something that most people think triggers simply when someone is embarrassed or uncomfortable in a situation. Well, I am here to tell you there is more then two reasons why people blush and unfortunately a lot of people suffer with it as a very large and sometimes crippling issue in their lives. Almost everyone at one point or another will have suffered from a 'red face' for example tripping on your own foot in front of a large group of people or wearing your jumper inside out and being the last person to notice.

Having spent a lot of time researching blushing, I found it often can make a massive difference to people's lives. When you blush, your face gets red and the more you think about it, the longer is seems to stay and the more intense the feeling gets. Often blushing also comes with added sweating in the upper head / forehead region which makes people feel even more uncomfortable. The issues that come with blushing can be quite severe, for example people may avoid applying for a job because they think they may appear strange if they blush in the interview, people may also not socialize with friends or develop relationships with people of the other gender because they don't want to blush anymore then they have to.

The unfortunate thing that comes with blushing is that most of the people that suffer from it don't even feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when it comes, it just hits them out of the blue and for no reason which makes them feel even more silly. The good news is that today's article has some helpful tips to help control the blushing and regain control of your life. So, lets begin with Tip #1.

Tip #1: Most People Don't Realize Your Blushing
The truth that most people don't seem to realize is that 99% of the time, people wont even realize that your blushing. Thinking about it makes it worse, so try to focus on the subject of the person you are talking to and ignore the blushing, it goes away as fast as it arrived - trust me!

Tip #2: Deep Breaths
Often, slowing down and taking a deep breathe is the best cure. Don't stop mid sentence and start breathing in and out because that surely will seem strange but just inhale and exhale until you feel calm and the blushing fades. Again it goes away as quick as it arrived.

Tip #3: Friend Support
If you have a well known friend that you can trust, tell them about your blushing and get them to help you. If you find you blush when talking to girls or guys, get a good friend of the opposite sex to try and make you blush. This sounds ridiculous, why would I want to blush when I am so sick of it? Because running away from it doesn't help one bit. You need to face it and get over the fear it brings because when you stop worrying about blushing, you wont notice it and it actually appears much less frequently and sometimes goes for good.

Tip #4: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Look at your mirror in the bathroom if you have one and practice blushing. Put yourself in an uncomfortable situation in your head and just watch your face. Again, this is could be a substitute if you don't have access to a friend at that time or your a bit shy to ask for friend support. Just watch your face blush then watch it fade away and get used to not worrying about it.

Tip #5: Blushing is Normal
Try to calm down and relax. When you relax and don't make something big out of blushing, your muscles relax and the flow of blood slows reducing the blushing. Everyone at some point or another blushes and everyone knows what it is like, your not alone.


That's it for today's article! I hope this really helps as I know firsthand the frustration that accompanies these issues, especially blushing.

peace out ^_^

A New Look at Drug and Alcohol Addiction

I thought it would be another good idea to post something about addiction as lately I have found most of the traffic coming from searches relating to addiction quotes or help with addiction. As you all know, I surf around on Steve Pavlina's Forums quite a bit and happened to find this article by andersonx. He wrote this and posted it so all credit goes to him, however it was such a great article I thought I would share it with all of you.

Following are extracts, click the link at the bottom of the page to see the full report.

STEP ONE: For years I’ve been goal-setting to become “addiction free”. Are you going to be really fired up and excited about becoming “addiction free”? Is it really going to inspire you to become “addiction free”? No way. However I redefined my goal as achieving a “new level of consciousness and inspired clean-living”.

Instead of this being the behaviour level change you might apply to a habit such as biting your finger nails or being untidy, this is going to be really inspiring, identity-level change. I was so inspired by Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks that I’ve often cried while watching the episodes of the series. He inspired me because the character is one of such deep integrity and self-respect, that you cannot ever imagine he would even consider polluting his body with drugs for pleasure. I realised how deeply I have wanted a set uncompromising values and integrity as part of who I am. I realised how deeply I wanted to be like the clean and moral man that he exemplifies, a man who would not be tempted to do pleasurable but destructive things. This role model was not provided by my parents and it is time for me to provide such a value system for myself.

My goal to reach a similar level of consciousness as Agent Dale Cooper exemplifies inspires such a passion within me that I cried as I set the goal, I cried with relief to have this goal, to have a value system to guide me. This brings me to the next point…


STEP TWO: If you’re going to quit an addiction, you’ve got to work out how the addiction was benefiting you, and then find a clean way to replace those benefits! I’m going to get massages for relaxation, go on speed-dating events to ensure I’m still getting out there and meeting girls, commit time to charity to spend time doing something fulfilling, start making a new group of alcohol/drug free friends, learn to connect with people in a fun way without alcohol and frankly… I’ve realised that to live life on a whole new level of consciousness, where I’m completely not interested in doing drugs I’m going to have to reconsider my entire value system, how fulfilling my work is, and the entire way that I’m leading my life.

This is not simply changing a bad behaviour, its looking into an entirely new and inspiring way of living my life. It’s accepting more fulfilling ways of spending my time. It’s adopting an uncompromising level of integrity so that I won’t even consider doing drugs. It’s setting a goal that inspires me so much, that I’m still going to be committed to it in 5 years time, still remembering the day that I set it and how far I’ve come since I decided to focus upon attaining it.


If you want to visit the full article for his summary and introduction, then you can do so here: A New Look at Drug and Alcohol Addiction.

I hope this helped you guys a lot and I will be back next week with some more motivational and inspiring posts! Have a great weekend!

peace out ^_^

Superficiality

Today I want to talk about superficiality.

This is something that a lot of people would struggle with, primarily if they are confused about their self image or have low self esteem, often it is caused by being hurt by someone or not having the life you want. Dr Phil discusses this idea in his book, "Self Matters" and addresses the idea of using objects such as 'clothing' or 'cars' as a means of identifying ourselves.

The idea behind this concept is that we attempt to display ourselves through objects that convey what we want to be seen as, such as Ferrari cars - which may convey the idea that we are wealthy or only choose the best. These often turn into obsessions as they become who we are.

There is currently a thread on Steve Pavlina's Forums which you can read discussing the topic of superficiality.

Superficiality Thread Link

Hope you had a good weekend

peace out ^_^

Public Speaking - Summary (Part 3/3)

Today is the final day in the mini-series and I want to talk about the whole notion of delivering a speech and the anxiety that comes with it. As I have said before, it's not an easy thing for most people to deliver a speech to both a small or large crowd, but I think it's the fear and the way we handle our anxiety that help us deliver a successful speech. As you know by reading part 2, I had to deliver a speech to a group just the other day and while I was quite nervous, once I got up on stage and actually began talking - I realized that I was in total control, the anxiety and stress and fear that was building up each second that was closer to my going up on stage was no longer bugging me.

Looking back, I actually think the hardest part was walking up onto the stage, the rest of it just sort of fell into place. You can't completely erase your fears from the equation when giving a speech, there is always some form of stress or fear going on inside but it's how you manage it and being able to turn your fear into your ally is a definite advantage in giving a successful delivery.

I just wanted to thank you for reading all three parts of the series and feel free to leave any comments.

Part 3/3 - Public Speaking Mini-Series

Written by Christopher Newman

Public Speaking - The Personal Experience (Part 2/3)

Okay... so were up to part 2 of the 3 part series. Today I am going to share my experience with public speaking which involved giving a speech to my lecturer and fellow peers... Now if your someone like me, the slight mention of speech is unsettling - have a read and see what happened and how I went.

Sitting in the lecture theater, I was the first of the day, actually second. I sat there listening to a fellow peer talk and all the while someone had a clock counting down the time until this person finished their speech - which really didn't help with my nerves. So realizing I wasn't going to get out of it, I decided I would try to have fun with it. There was no way I could avoid it - I had to do it at some point and as I stood up and moved to the lectern it happened...

No I didn't feint! When I got up there I neatened myself up, compiled myself (taking a series of deep breaths) and opened my mouth to speak. Surprisingly I began talking, the nerves that also kept me glued to my chair were gone - I even smiled during my speech. Realizing half way through that I was totally in control, I became more and more confident and eventually stopped thinking about nerves, stuffing up or anything except delivering my speech and not going over time.

At one point, I felt my face slightly go red but I shrugged it off, concentrating on my speech and honestly, it disappeared without anyone even caring, not even myself. As far as I could see, the audience wasn't asleep and they weren't in their underwear either (since I chose not to bask in that common nerve reducing tactic)... As I finished my final line, I felt as if this huge weight had been lifted off me and suddenly I realized - What the hell was I so afraid about? The people in your audience aren't going to sit there thinking - Oh God I hope he/she screws up horribly! No, they are their to hear you talk and I certainly accomplished something I didn't think I would be able to do very easily.


The biggest problem with giving a speech is fear, we don't know what to expect when we get up there but honestly it's half the fun. Learning to become more confident with speaking in public will come in time but for now, I have survived and I think I got a good grade too. Tomorrow I will bring out part 3 of the series with a small reflection on fear/nerves and a little summary.

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments box and I will answer them as best as I can.

Part 2/3 - Public Speaking Mini-Series

Written by Christopher Newman

Public Speaking - Tips and Tricks! (Part 1/3)

Public speaking is something we can't avoid... Whether it happens at school, uni, in your workplace or at your daughter's wedding, your going to have to speak to an audience at one point. If your a shy person, this will be infinitely more difficult to do than someone who is extremely confident. These tips and tricks can help you to catch and control those butterflies and deliver a great speech!

Plan, Plan, Plan, Plan
The old saying is still true - fail to plan then plan to fail... The key to delivering a successful speech is to know your material, write about what interests you and speak about something you are passionate about - for some it's much easier to talk about cars then finance. Always plan out what is appropriate for your audience, if it's something with a lot of data or numbers - then it may be more appropriate to include a variety of print outs whereas a meeting about cars could have a slide show on a projector with a variety of cars you will talk about. Sometimes you don't get to choose what you get to talk about and so you just have to find your own personal way to discuss the topic that has a personal touch, something that makes it unique.

Learn Your Material
You will find it amazingly easier to deliver a speech that you know what your talking about and that you have rehearsed, rather then one that you finished writing and printing the night before. Preparation is essentially the key to doing well in a speech and you will find that over preparing will never hurt.

The Delivery
Okay, so your standing in front of a crowd and it doesn't matter how big that crowd is, you may be feeling like your heart is beating at 150 miles an hour. Everything is moving so fast, and you hear your name called to start your speech. You feel queasy inside and as you open your mouth to say a word, you feel no moisture - just a dry mouth. This is what you will feel like most likely and don't worry, there are many other people who feel the exact same way when delivering a speech. This is how you may feel at the beginning but when you finish speaking you will feel completely different if you manage to keep the audience interested and maintain in control of yourself.

Do's and Do Not's


Do: Relax
Before you start, take a deep breath and just build yourself up. My favorite quote to say when I am in that position is to say, 'I can achieve whatever I believe'. Keep taking deep breaths whenever you need to, your audience will be thankful that you are pacing every now and then - it also gives them a chance to soak in the information. If you have the option, you can take a sip of water every now and then as a breather break.

Don't: Apologize for a Mistake

Don't apologize for a mistake. People most likely didn't notice it and stopping and saying, 'I'm sorry - that wasn't meant to be there' is more likely going to do more harm then good. Just continue on like you didn't even notice you made a mistake, it's the same concept when performing in a dance competition or a music recital - don't stop if you mess up - just continue and show you have the ability to adapt to any situation.

Do: Enthusiasm

Nobody likes a speech without enthusiasm and you will often find it may be difficult to speak up and project your voice but it will involve your audience and be worth it in the end.

Don't: Worry about Blushing/Embarrassment
Everyone hates speaking in a crowd (well mostly everyone - including me) and naturally some people will blush or get 'red faced'. The more you worry about it, the more people will take notice to it. If you focus your energy on engaging your listeners and forget about the blushing then it will fade as soon as it arrived and less people will care about it because you obviously don't seem to.

The Aftermath
You did it! You finished your speech and guess what? Your still alive and I am sure you even got a hand of applause when you finished. Feels good doesn't it? Well, you put in the hard work and survived - take a deep breath and acknowledge any complements with a quick thanks.

Quick Note: I have heard a tactic to try imagining the audience in their underwear. Personally I find this to be a crappy tactic because it doesn't help me focus (it makes me laugh or see the audience in a weird perspective) and ultimately degrades the presentation. If it works for you, then go right ahead but it doesn't help as much as the above tips and tricks.


Okay! :) That's it for part 1 in the series, in a couple days you will see my experience and testimonial about my own public speech I have to deliver and you can see what I went through. Right now, I am a little nervous but I should be okay. If I don't write about it, presume I died of fear. >.>

Part 1/3 - Public Speaking Mini-Series

Written by Christopher Newman

Overcoming an Addiction!

Hi everyone,

I have been insanely busy these past few days so hopefully this makes up for my absence :P While browsing the forums over the past couple days, I ran into a man who calls himself 'SmartAss'. After several years of smoking, he has decided to go cold turkey and quit. Now beating an addiction can be the hardest thing someone may ever have to go through but so far, he is doing extremely well.

His post: 30 days of not smoking is his blogged journal where he posts about any temptations and updates us with each day that he remains smoke free. It also gives people a chance to share their ideas and opinions as well as any helpful tips. What is the best about this idea though, is other people wishing to get off smoking and back on track with life can draw the support from this thread just as easily too.

Struggling with an addiction can have a major impact on your self esteem and usually your self esteem can be the reason your struggling with an addiction, possibly the cause... If you want to follow SmartAss' progress on the forums and possibly offer some support, you can visit it via the link below.

30 Days of not smoking

The way to beat an addiction is with support from family, friends and even people on forums as you can see from this case. Even seeing a counsellor can help with any depression issues you may suffer as a result of going 'cold turkey' from something that has controlled your life for so long.

While your head might crave it! Think with your heart :)


peace out

Search

Author

My photo
Self help and development enthusiast. My name is Chris and I live in Queensland, Australia. Hope I can help you out! :D

Newsletter Signup!

Click to signup! You may need to enable pop ups on this site for the form to work properly.

Self Development Store

If you would like to browse and purchase any resources you can now do so from our store, available below or in the menu bar on each page. The store is in collaboration with Amazon so your saving on products and still getting great service!

Self Development Store

Support Us

If you really enjoyed an article on this blog, please keep us online!

Follow Us

Members